I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
