How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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