I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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