We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Your cock deserves a montage
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
