Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
