Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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