I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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