So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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