you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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