super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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