i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
