let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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