I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
