i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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