Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
