Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
