I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
