I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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