So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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