I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
