I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
