i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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