true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i dont even know how to be here
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
