Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
