i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
