My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
