Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
