I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
