let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
