I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
All I want is dick and wine.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
