that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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