This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
