Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
