i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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