woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
