Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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