ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
