I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
