ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
