I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
