You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
