You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do vagina's smell?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
