I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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