I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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