i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
