I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
