When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
two words: eviction party
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
