like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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