It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
