you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
