carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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