It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
